I think I am done talking about aliens

what happened after integrating

For years, I was fascinated by aliens. I needed to know everything about different star systems and their inhabitants. Since science fell short in that department, I read channeled starseed books, dove deep on YouTube into all kinds of obscure galactic explorations, and worked with healers that engaged with the cosmic, etheric realms too.

After all this studying, I realized I needed to channel my own information. The info I found online was often conflicting, copy-pasted, or full of fear about this alien or that. A lot of it is just creepy. So I learned to channel, which was one of the most empowering things I did on my spiritual path, and got tons of interesting info I didn’t find anywhere else. This is when it really took off for me. I made many alien-related videos on YouTube, two of which have gotten over 10K views. Many people related to the information I shared. Which is still a bit crazy to me. To have this connection only happen in the etheric and the digital spheres just makes it feel somewhat dreamy and unreal, you know?

Still, it was deeply healing. A part of me got so much validation for ‘feeling like an alien’. I connected to an online community of fellow starseeds. Wounds of loneliness, not belonging and frankly, feeling unsafe in the world, got a whole new framework. I released a lot of toxic shame. I integrated many multidimensional layers and retrieved a huge part of my soul.

I landed.

To share this, I centered my business around it. I offered guided meditations to connect to your galactic self and a course for starseed remembrance. They didn’t really sell because I only made these offerings after the videos went viral, so there is no solid call to action in the videos, and then I also forgot to include it in the next ones that also went viral, so I definitely failed in the entrepreneur department there.

I had fun. I made as much videos as I could with ‘starseed’ in the title. I connected to so many wonderful sensitive souls that shared their stories about their own mystical experiences in the wider cosmos.

As a culmination of all this, I hosted my Starseed Healing Community this fall, and channeled the highly conscious and loving beings I have worked with for years for the members of this private group. It was a beautiful, pure environment of healing. It was the first time I have fully unleashed ALL OF IT. Exactly how I connect with the galactic beings of light, all my tips and tricks for keeping it real, showing how I tap into the mystery and learned to speak its language, the big hurdles my galactic guides have helped me with and how to integrate this multidimensionality in daily life. Such a sweet, sweet energetic container.

On my YouTube channel, I’ve always held back. It is something that is deemed ‘crazy’ by most people, after all (hi). And although I do have an unstoppable urge to do weird shit in the world (which I definitely need to keep in check), I have gradually learned to not overshare.

It was lovely to express this part of my spiritual practice to a few trusted people and have them receive the benefits. To feel you engage in your own way, see you have your own spiritual connection to this realm. It was a culmination of everything I had done in this direction.

And it also seemed to have cured me of the desire to publicly channel aliens altogether.

You know, when you just ‘get something out of your system’?

Something you thought was such a big and integral part of you, but when you’re able to express it fully, it kind of leaves you?

Well, that part doesn’t actually leave. It integrates.

And it seems to have fully integrated now.

Now, it feels like there is no point anymore to talk about it.

I’m not saying that this was all based on an illusion.

I am just saying that I am ready to move on.

This was nicely illustrated by my reaction to a YouTube comment I got recently. It was something along the lines of ‘if you think the Lyrans are only white, you have failed’. I just don’t think galactic racism is the kind of racism we need to be concerned about. Just a thought. So, after a short spike of activation and sadness for the state of this person’s mind, I just laughed about it.

This offended comment is just one of many. Most of it is water off a duck’s back, but in order to face a large amount of this, I need to stand behind what I’m saying online, which acts as a kind of teflon.

And that’s the thing I discovered. The teflon is gone, because I just don’t really care anymore about the specifics of any of this. I got the gist of it. I integrated it. Done. What anyone else thinks about our galactic make-up, history or other star races is not interesting to me anymore. What *I* think about it is not even interesting to me anymore. I don’t exclude it, and it might be woven in here and there, but...

…my attention is moving elsewhere now. More towards understanding the nervous system, meridians and other functions of our body. In other words, more towards the physical. And using my voice. To no longer create ‘just for fun’ as I needed to do while I was still going through personal things that demanded my full attention these past years, but to say what I really think, now that I have the space, about things that are just a bit more down to earth.

It was both exhilarating and scary to realize this, these last few weeks. Exhilarating because I love this continuous process of transforming and discovering new realizations within. Scary because I feared not everyone would like this new direction.

But after writing in my newsletter that I was going to simplify and move away from the ‘starseed stuff’, among other things, I actually received many emails from you supporting me in such sweet ways.

What was curious was that multiple people shared that you feel this pivot is actually a collective thing. Of course I don’t know what you mean exactly (feel free to share in the comments), but I do know that astrologically, all of the outer planets are shifting signs. A whole new background frequency is emerging, 2025 is going to be a deeply transformative year, and therefore, a different inner frequency has to emerge. What will we decide, who will we be? Now is the time to mull on that.

I also feel that collectively, we have integrated so much darkness. The phrase ‘the light has won, because it has integrated light and dark’ came to me in a dream. Maybe that’s just a reflection of my own inner reconciliation. But it was the same deep, disembodied voice that once told me that ‘the waters of Agartha will rise’. Still don’t know whose voice that is. Whenever I tune in, I get super dizzy by my own smallness, as if I am looking straight into the depths of the whole wide universe. So I suspect it is THE voice, you know?

Perhaps there are more people feeling the desire to shift, to simplify, or to find and express some visceral truth in their soul that so far remained hidden.

Leaving old skin behind, that they have outgrown.

Maybe you feel like you are stepping into a whole new chapter as well.

It is a weird thing, to shed skins. To arrive at a raw, tender new sense of self. To nurture it, away from prying eyes, and then, when it has grown enough, to expose it to the world. Come spring, we can show it all more fully. Mars is still in retrograde, so moving forward into something completely new might prove tricky still. Now is the time to incubate your new self just a bit more.

It is a lovely feeling to keep my finger on the pulse of what’s alive. That red thread of creativity. To follow it radically, and consistently.

I couldn’t live in any other way.

So, here’s to the vulnerability of transforming in 2025, to keeping it real, and following your north star of weirdness!

Starting this Substack has been stop and go for me. It might take a while before I’ve found my groove and there could be some deleting and rearranging, but in the meantime, I decided to just start.

• If you got curious about what came through in the Starseed Healing Community that I created this fall, you can get access to it as an archive of all the content here. It basically acts as an online course now, that will take you through a cosmic integration journey and bring it all back home. (Please note that I won’t make new content there and it won’t be interactive.)

PS: I announced (when will I learn to not do that) in my ‘coming soon’ post that I am writing about my experiences with cultish groups, but that needs time to process fully if I even publish it at all. Hope you enjoyed this, grateful you are here.